The Martyr

Since I've known Hubby, he has called me a Martyr... to him its a reference to me making things harder on myself when I could simply ask for help.  Let me assure you that I am not a martyr at all -- I'm just a woman who has been there and learned her lessons.  The painful truth is that no one will help you but you and that the only person you can ever rely on is yourself.

It's a sad notion -- and one that in my life, I've come to accept as a reality. When I don't, I am always disappointed.  And, that sucks.

Two days ago, I sent my mom a text asking her when she was going to come by and bring BB his baby present - a mobile.  I asked because I wanted her to come by, spend some time and help.  My fault was I didn't clearly communicate that need.  But, even today, as I called her on the phone to explain how I wanted a day of help from my mom with my new baby, she didn't get it -- and she listed a bunch of excuses as to why she couldn't... and then she told me to get help from my ex husband with his daughters...

And, it is for reasons like this I do not ask for help because I know, it is not really out there.